mostamazing

This weekend went suprisingly well... As we had loads of people at the BBQ it was pretty easy too avoid all the sausages, burgers, chicken, ribs, cake, cookies, muffins..........etc. etc. !! I had 1 'hot dog' that's all, i had to eat something because my mum kept asking if i had eaten so i grabbed a sausage and said 'Yum! Lovely!' Haha. Apart from that nothing else which was pretty amazing!
It was actually a really really lovely day!!! =) A few of my friends play the guitar so we all sat around on the decking singing along with millions of candles and heaters...Very cosy and romantic! =) My mother had a lovely day too! (It was her birthday BBQ!)
Saturday night wasn't great though..9 of my family went to a restaurant in our village to celebrate my mothers birthday, i had lasagne (with no starters, desserts or alcohol!) That had too be done, i had too eat something!  I can't bare too think of the cals...  
Anyway i've had a pack of mints today and a magnum ice cream...I was soooooooo hot on my walk so we stopped off a little country shop! That was my lunch- 250 cals...But me and my boyfriend went on a really long walk so i know for sure they are burnt off!  =) 
This evening my parents want me and my brothers to make pizzas with them... I will make them and NOT eat them!  Definitely not! Britains Next Top Model Episode 2 is on tonight! =) X.x.x

Today...Went to visit Cambridge University...I want to study law there as long as i get 3 A's @ A level i'm pretty sure i can get in... So wish me luck! 
I managed too have a bannana and a bottle of water for lunch although that was amazingly hard seen as my parents were with me all day...I just told them i had a big breakfast at school...Lies, lies, lies! That's what i hate about this...I hate lying soooo much, i feel guilty when my parents actually believe the completely crap stories i tell them! 
Anyway today was the last day of school! Going to the riverside festival tommorrow and it's my mums birthday so we're going to a restaurant for dinner...How 'fanatasic'! Why do celebrations always = food! And then we're having a suprise BBQ on sunday for family friends!!! Why all the food! I'm just praying i can resist this weekend! X.x.x

Today...I passed my driving theory test! Yay! :) I felt so proud of myself...Well at least it's one thing i can feel proud of! I will carry on my success today with running at school later...= Lots of Cals burnt! :) Couldn't be better! I've only had chewing gum all day, so i guess today really has been perfect! :) I hope it lasts...And my dad comes home from China in 2 days, so I can finally see him after months! Yay! Be happy everybody! X.x.x

I've only just realised how to do this so yeah i may ramble a bit....
This is me....
I have a boyfriend and am currently having 'flings' with 2 other boys (who both have girlfriends) terrible i know but i need their reassurance to make me feel pretty...I have no confidence in myself to feel attractive without boys 'wanting me' ! I don't even feel guilty about it, only when i'm in risk of people i know finding out...That's how much of an idiot i am! I probably sound so arrogant but really i'm a pathetic person who can't make herself feel good at all! 
Anyway i go to a boarding school so i barely see my parents only like once every month so that's quite cool but my summer holidays start in 3 days so i'll be at home then, apart from the 2 holidays i have planned...Skiing in Switzerland with my family and a beach holiday in Turkey with my friends..Should be a great summer!
It's hard being at school and having this...It's near impossible to not eat much without being questioned.
Anyway today...I'll be spending my day doing essays for school...That's my boring day planned out for me!
X.x.x